Lying on the couch felt like lying on my death bed.
My breathes were slow and rhythmic.
A gentle warmth had fallen over my entire body.
Sore throat. High fever.
How do you mend a broken heart?
First you turn the volume up to a Dashboard Confessional
MTV Unplugged CD on the ride home.
You sing every song at the top of your lungs.
"Vindicated" isn't even on the CD, so in between songs you
know and songs you don't know you just go ahead and sing it
all the way through.
Sometimes you just scream insane thoughts maniacally.
Things like "Stab me in the God Damn heart with a fucking spoon!".
You actually think you've legitimately gone insane.
New Year's Day has come and gone. You feel pretty good about 2009.
It's a clean slate. A new beginning. You can start making "to do" lists.
You can start to cross things off one by one.
There's so much to accomplish
when your resolution for the new year is to become a better person than you've ever been.
But that's not depressing. The depressing part is if you actually succeed because it will have meant that you've been wasting your entire life up until this point. It gives you some motivation.
And if you succeed...
if when 2010 rolls around you are in fact a better person, then there's only one resolution available: BECOME AN EVEN BETTER PERSON.
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2 comments:
This is why one should take his or her life in stride ... realize things happen whether spectacular or down right depressing ... but all of it is life .... take it all in stride. Accept the defeating moments with as much grace, peace of mind, and a greatful heart as one would do with the most wonderful moments. Life in stride ...
Jen, you practically wrote a blog on my blog. Haha
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