Monday, November 24, 2008

What a glorious montage!


You know the one I'm talking about! I'm talking about Rocky II when Adrienne breaks out of her coma and says "Win, Rocky. Win!" And then he goes back into fighting mode.  And he's running with a log on his back.  Then he's doing 50 one handed pushups. Next he's doing military presses until he's exhausted.  And after all that he's doing hundreds of situps while someone beats on his stomach.  All the while he's wearing a shirt that says "Win, Rocky. Win!". And then, you know what's coming next.  He's running through the streets of Philadelphia slapping hands and waving. More and more people start running behind him just like in Forrest Gump. He's an inspiration. A hero! The original underdog! So when he gets within a 1/4 mile of the Philadelphia Museum of Art he goes into an all-out sprint all the way to the top where he jumps around waving his fist in the air!

Wow. What a montage indeed! If that doesn't motivate you, then you may just have to check your citizenship. There may be a mistake.

So while I was elbow deep in the AMC Rocky Marathon, I was thinking about how we all make these cookie-cutter plans for our lives.  Obviously we all (with a few exceptions) get past the elementary dreams of being a professional athlete, movie star, cop, nurse or whatever.  Not to say that some of us don't actually get to have those careers, but as far as celebrities go - it's rare, and as far being a nurse or cop - it stops being a "dream job" and starts becoming a means to an end really. Just my viewpoint.  Maybe there's a nurse of a cop out there who wouldn't want to do anything but stay right where they are.

The point is that there's a time when you finally realize that it's game time and you've got to pick a path and stick.  So you start thinking about when/if you'll graduate college.  You'll think about when and who you'll marry.  Your career has to be realistic, achievable and dependable because if you are going to have 2.3 children, then you'll have to have a way to pay for diapers and private school.

So we all make these plans. Maybe secretively.  It's more like a timeline.  And it's perfect. But during the course of our excursion down our paths we don't account for forks in the road or detours.  

I was thinking about this.  I mean, how could you account for variations in your timeline? There's only one who knows for sure how all the puzzle pieces of your life fit together. The Prince of Peace, King of Kings, Alpha and Omega, Good Shepherd, The Way - Truth - and the Life - *cough*cough* GOD, if you will.

The problem I've been having for quite some time now is being able to put ALL of my faith into him.  I've never fully been able to give him my 100%.  I've never been able to say "God, these are my problems, and I need a solution." Because it's my understanding that that is exactly what he wants.  In the same way that you have a father here on earth who you bring your problems to and say "Fix it. Help me", God wants you to be able to come to him. Trust him. And he will. That's the common theme I've been gathering from my reading - you know, after I dusted off my Bible. It must be an incredibly liberating feeling to be able to take the weight off your back completely and ask God for the help. I'm not there yet, but I figure that enough prayer will lead me.

So back to the cookie-cutter remarks. If life always went the way we'd planned then there'd be no such thing as a pleasant surprise. If we knew the end of the story before we got there, then there'd be no point in reading. Life seems much better as a rollercoaster even if there are a bunch of dips. 

Those dips are what make the peaks that much sweeter, don't ya think? When Rocky beat Apollo Creed he shocked the world. It wouldn't have been much of an underdog story if everyone knew he would win and become the heavy weight champion of the world - everyone in the fictional story of Rocky that is - um - I knew he would win before I began to watch it.

And if you thought the montage from Rocky II was great. Try the one in the beginning of Rocky III. Eye of the Tiger playing. Rocky kicking a**.  Making piles of money. Going from country to country. And then all in between Mr. T is sneaking around watching Rocky fight and slaughtering people in the ring.



Thursday, November 20, 2008

My Cell Phone Fell Down the Garbage Disposal (It's Fine Now)


The decision is pretty much made.  The paper's aren't signed yet, but the decision is pretty much made.  I will be joining the military.  Right now I am hung up between the Army or the Air Force. For some reason I am fairly set on joining the Army.  I'm not entirely sure of the reason for my..infatuation.  Is that the right word? Infatuation? But at any rate I look at the military as my so-called "way out".  I'll have a job, no bills to speak of, no worries about where I'm going to lay my head, and to top it all off they pay for your education in full.  Some have said that it isn't worth it.  That I should put a little more thought into this.  After all, this isn't picking out a shirt for casual Friday - it's life changing.  I think that for as close to worthless as I feel I'll be making a great trade. My life for the next eight years for a future.  It's true.  I may be slightly naive coming into this situation.  But the truth is that I'm going down on a sinking ship: the S.S. Chuck's Hope and Dreams.  Through educational neglect I've lost my grants and ergo can't afford to go to school anymore.  Through sheer irresponsibility (and then help from the economy) I've been unemployed for the last seven weeks or so.  I've been without my car for going on two months now.  I'm broke.  I feel hopeless. These are all good reasons to join the military. Not to mention the fact that I'd be proud and humbled to serve this great nation for all that she has given me.

I'm looking into psychological operations specialist - "Psych Ops," the recruiter said.  I think it aligns well with my personality and also my civilian career goals. And it's weird to say civilian. Mostly because it puts up even more of a real barrier between life and military life.  That's the scariest part.  There's a lot of sacrifice.  Like I said, I'd be property of the military for the next 8 years.  It's like a drug dealer who goes to prison and still tries to hustle.  Maybe not quite, but you get the point.  Communication or the lack thereof will be very hard for me. The majority.  I'd say 95% of my hesitation is not getting to see my "baby-boo-angel-face". I'm not quite sure what comprises the other 5%, but I just wanted to illustrate how much I'm going to miss Jessica by having to go away for awhile. The percentage may even be more than 95%, but the point is that I love her more than anything. She is my everything, and I want a future with her. With that said, I think that the military can also help me in this area as well because by giving me a better future...it gives us a better future.

So in the next 42 days until 2009 and my signing of my life away I've got a lot of preperation. Not just physically in preperation for basic training, but mentally as well.  I want to insure that Jessica and I are strong going into this decision, so that we can be stronger on the way out. Overall, given my perception of my situation the military seems like a cure-all. 

I should probably hurry up and rent Stanley Kubrick's Full-Metal Jacket, G.I. Jane with Demi Moore, the movie Cadet Kelly with Hillary Duff, and 1994's In the Army Now with Pauly Shore to really give me the best view of what I'll be getting into. 

Sunday, November 16, 2008

The Truth About Cops


Why does anyone become a cop?  I've racked my brain plenty to come up with that answer.  It seems to be a popular choice.  Everyone knows at least one personally.  That's why I've got to be a tad bit careful about what I say because off the top of my head I could have in upwards of four offended friends.

But cops.  But policeman.  But law enforcement officers. get a bad rep.  And my little situation on Friday night is a perfect testimony as to why.

There I was going home from Jacksonville.  A drive that I've made too many times to have kept track of in the last three years.  And in the last three years I did manage one ticket on this drive. It was on Thanksgiving Day's night in 2005.  I was speeding.  I was definetly speeding.  I couldn't have known, though, because at the time, my vehicle's speedometer did not work and I was a lone driver on the road.  I remember that ticket very well.  I was tired coming back.  I kept dozing off and getting woken up by the bumping of my tires on the median, and when I got pulled over I was actually dozing off then.  I thought that I had ran a red light or something. Maybe hit a pedestrian or something in my near-unconscious state.  No, I was in fact just going about 35 over the speed limit - in Waldo, nonetheless.  

But back to Friday night.  I was just trying to get home.  I wasn't speeding.  I wasn't swerving.  I was wearing my seatbelt. My headlight was out. For the most part I kept my high beams on because traffic was thin.  This was of course Highway 301, and it was of course a late Friday night.  There's another town on 301 that you may not be so familiar with.  Waldo is the Tom Brady of speed traps. Wait.  That didn't make much sense, but I think it may have at least gotten my point across.  I'll leave it.  For the most part, though, Waldo has been quiet as far as I know.  I haven't heard any horror stories coming out of there in awhile.  But there's this other town.  They've got a stoplight or two.  It's cliche', but if you blink you may miss it.  Honestly, you might.  They've got a prison that serves as the main source of income for the town.  The other you may have guessed is traffic citations. Certainly the dilapidated convenience stores and po' dunk "restaurants" aren't adding much to the town's cashflow. And I cringe when I use the word restaurant to describe these incestual, redneck infested feeding troughs.  You'll know you're getting close because you'll see the billboards that read: Lawtey Speed Trap 5 miles.  One thing I never got was who pays for these billboards and why?  But the town is Lawtey, and look at me. Gabbing away, and I haven't even got to what happened.

I saw the cop parked on the roadside as I passed, and I saw the lights go on.  And my heart didn't sink like it normally does when I see police lights go on behind me because I didn't think I had done anything against the law.  I pulled off the road.  I went through the typical motions. The license.  The registration.  Everything checked out fine.  And then the officer walked back with citation in hand.  He said your headlight is out.  I should have said "I'm not f***ing retarded. It's pretty easy to notice when I'm behind the wheel and it's pitch black outside."  But I told him I knew.  I had only discovered right before I went to head home.  I told him I was just keeping my high beams on for the most part.  He didn't care.  He was a piece of shit cop.  A piece of shit cop with a cleft lip.  And do you know how much that ticket was for? $91! What the f***. Oh, but if I get the headlight fixed and have a cop sign off on my citation I can pay a reduced fine.  What's the reduced fine? $68! Oh, gee, thanks.  You piece of shit.  This wasn't even the end of my frustration.  

Wouldn't you know that when I went to leave and get the hell out of that stupid town, my car wouldn't start.  The cop got out his little voltage box to try to jump it, but that wasn't the problem.  Then he stared at me for a little while and I said "Umm...I was just going to call my dad and get this all figured out." And he stared at me a little more, and I said "Umm...was there anything else?" And he told me that my car apparently couldn't stay where it was.  I said I would move it.  He offered to help me push, and in a spiteful tone I told him that he had "helped" me out enough and that I would push it myself.  And then he said "Ok. 10-4, buddy."  First of all, I'm not your f***in' buddy.  Second of all.  I hope you don't make it home tonight.  That's what I should have said.  Because that's what I really hoped.

And over the course of the next 45 minutes or so while I waited for a ride back to Gainesville from AJ (which, thanks so much, man) I watched him pull over 4 other vehicles.  It seemed that every rush of traffic would leave behind a straggler.  

I actually got pulled over right next to the Lawtey city hall.  Wait.  It's the Lawtey police department.  Oh, wait.  It's the Lawtey fire department.  It's all three, and it's a mobile home practically.  F***in' piece of sh** town.

So the truth may very well be that there are some great cops out there.  And that's to be expected.  I've met some very generous officers in my day. I've gotten off the hook even, and I personally know some very generous officers.  Really great guys, but the truth is that it's situations like Friday night that ruin it all.  I've never been a big fan of cops.  Like I said, there have been those rare moments where a cop has let me breathe a sigh of relief and I'm not ignorant.  I know that there's a societal neccessity for law enforcement, but it's just sad.  It's a shame and a little bit ironic that the same people who are in a position to restore peace are also the target of so much fear and hostility.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Test Taking Tips















Here's my response to waking up at 6:30am to cram some more test knowledge into my head: "F***!, F***ity, F***!, F***!"

Here's my response at 11:00am when my test was handed to me: "Sh**! [expletive, expletive, etc., etc.] This isn't what I studied! Son of a c***gobbling b****! F*** this!" (All in my head of course).

It was right around question #107 that I can recall really just having a meltdown.  Here I am (there I was) sitting in a psychology of personality class arguing in my own head about which multiple choice selection is correct, and it went something like this.

Ok.  "A" sounds like a good answer.
Wait. "B" also sounds like a good answer. Sh**.
"C" can't be right.  I'll rule it out.
"D" = Both "A and B". F*** yeah! But before I could fill in the bubble...
"E" = All of the above. F*** Sh**!

Now.  I felt strongly about "A". And I felt good about "B".  Does that mean that I should choose "D"?  Or! Did I maybe overlook "C" and so the answer is in fact "E". Gosh damn, mother f***ing, donkey d*** sucking whore!

I pick "D".  Next freakin' question.

It was the stretch of questions between #107 and #142 where I was really just out of it.  Just washed up.  Brain drained, if you will.  I started making careless choices - even resorting back to high school logic for my answer choice.  The ever popular: "If you don't know the answer, it's "C" may have cost me a few valuable multiple choice points today. Or...it may have gained me valuable points. 

But it wasn't just that easy.  Patterns began to form.  And we all know that patterns must be questioned.  They must be interrogated. You must first ask yourself what the probability of spelling CAB, BAD, BEAD right in a row would be.  You must then question the very motive of the instructor.  Is this a trick? Is this a setup? Am I being watched? Are these answers correct and the mere existence of these spelling patterns intentional to trip me up into changing my answers? Or has fate provided yet another coincidental act?  The answer must be "C".  Erase.  That's just too many "C"s in a row! Bubble in "C" again.  Repeat.  You're not even trying to answer the questions anymore.  It's a psychology test in more ways than one.  It's also a math test.  It's also a sick, diabolical scheme.  But I'd really love a blowjob right now. A blowjob would really hit the spot. So, bubble in "B" for blowjob and just move on...to essay questions.  

Essay questions are great. For instance, when there's five essay questions.  And the instructions say that you can choose to answer 3 of those 5.  And one more for extra credit (but you have to mark the extra credit one, of course)...and you look them over...and you only know one for sure.  You could write a damn book about one of them.  And you could squeeze by with another of them, but that's it. 
 
So you are stuck with trying to pass at least one more of the essay questions off by just reforming the question and using related words found throughout the multiple choice questions and answers section.  And you don't even know if what you've said makes any sense, but you hope that your test is at the bottom of the stack when it comes time to grade them. And you hope your professor is tired by the time he or she gets to yours.  And you hope that they are a big-time Murder She Wrote fan.  And you hope that by the time they get to your paper, Angela Lansbury is already sitting down at her typewriter with a piano jamming out in the background, so they just see some chicken-scratch that fills up the space provided and they give you credit for that one.  In addition you score some extra credit even though you answered THAT essay question with your theory about why as a person you suck and what you would do to fix your life if you just had access to a time machine.

Monday, November 10, 2008

The Cab-Plain White T's-Dashboard Confessional- and Panic! At the Disco: Concert

The O'Connell Center was rocking on Saturday night to the stomps of sixteen year old girls' and homosexual guys' feet.

My baby-boo-angel-face had scored us tickets to this concert.  Overall, I'll say that it was a lot of fun.  We missed The Cab perform which no big deal because I had never heard of them in the first place.  The Plain White T's - despite their lack of stage presence - were OK.  They sang "Hey there, Delilah" so what really more could you have asked of them?  I'm not sure how old their band members are, but they seem like they've been at this rockstar thing for awhile now and just so happened to hit gold with a ballad about a girl named Delilah.  Just my take.  I won't bash them, though.  They at least produced a good pop sound.  And the guitarist was pretty handsome, I must say.

I was scratching my head as to why Dashboard Confessional wasn't the headliner for this concert.  They put on a great show with such songs as "Vindicated", "Hands Down", "Screaming Infidelities", etc.  But the real highlight of the entire concert, I thought, was when Dashboard got The Cab and The Plain White T's out on stage to cover the Pink song "So What".  I was feeling just like those adolscent girls and d***-sucking boys at that exact moment.  It was truly magical.  I would pay to see them cover that song again.  All in all, I thoroughly enjoyed the Dashboard Confessional portion of the concert.




Now, Panic! At the Disco just couldn't get through the concert without saluting new President Elect Obama through a shout-out and song tribute - some song about change...or maybe it's called Change or something or another...Anywho, I hate when celebrities and bands share their political views.  That's like getting cooking tips from a mechanic.  You get the point.  With that said, Panic! was alright.  They've got a lot of songs that really get the party jumpin-jumpin in my opinion.  I wasn't sure how I felt about standing in the O'Connell center and listening to their music as oppossed to being in a club, party, etc but that's fine.  I enjoy a good portion of their music, and they played all the hits so I wasn't really disappointed.

Some notable people sitting around me and Jessica during the concert that I think are worthy of a shout-out: 

To the blantently gay, 15-ish boy just a few seats down - your flailing was entertaining to me.  It was very apparent that if the lead singer for Panic! had wanted you to go down on him you would have done so in a tit-whisper.  Your clear skin, perched lips, and closed eyes all made very convincing arguments for this. 

To the fat-chick sitting (mostly standing and jumping) in the seat right above us: Damn, you were making the whole section shake.  No joke.

To the nerdy-FSU guys sitting right below us: Wha? You drove all the way from Tallacrappy to see this concert? And you came together.  Two dudes came together to see this concert? I'm speachless.  Man, you guys were nerdy as hell.  I had a hard time believing you were in college, but all of the tom-a-hawks you were doing proved me wrong, I suppose.  I guess to your credit you knew all the words to Everlong by the Foo Fighters and Alive by Pearl Jam and we made a nice pair singing while waiting for the next bands to get on stage.  But I wouldn't doubt if one of you was going to give road head to the other on the way back to Tally.  Maybe you'll even switch off driving, too.  I mean, you guys took a lot of video and pictures, so you can't blame me for my snap judgements about your sexuality.

So in conclusion, the concert was a great way to spend the 8th of November.  I'm glad Jessica got us the tickets.  It was a lot of fun.  AND while we were at the concert, the Gators were in the middle of punishing Vanderbilt! (And seriously, Dashboard Confessional performing "So What" was awesome).

Friday, November 7, 2008

I've made a fair amount of mistakes. None that are narcotics related, though.


"I think they are actually going to turn out well this time," I said.  I was referring to the brownies.  They are baking as I type.  You see, last time we baked brownies they turned out a bit dry for some reason.  This time, though I think I've redeemed myself.

Enough about that, though.  As I was sitting on the toilet today and reading the biography of Sam Walton some more --I have been off-and-on reading it for awhile now --I just started thinking about what the hell I'm doing right now.  It's rough.  I'm still jobless.  However, I never shared in a blog the sketchy sales job I picked up for two days. (It sucks that I love sales and dealing with people so much but that every job related to this field is so sketchy!) Anywho, I'm reading about Sam Walton.  Who by the way is an amazing guy.  Just a real down home jee-golly business man.  He just had an awesome philosophy about the way business should be done and he ran with it gaining a lot of support along the way with his great attitude.  One of the things he said was that he was surprised that they were printing in the paper with such shock that he drove a beat-up pick-up truck and got his haircut from a barber in his home town.  This was in an interview in the 80's after he was said to have been the richest man in America at the time.  His reply was "Well where else do you get a haircut? And where would I put my hunting dogs if I didn't drive that pick-up?"  Just really a fantastic guy to read about.

So back to me.  I was thinking on the toilet about how I'm just spiraling right now.  I'm feeling more and more depressed daily.  And of course I've made some stupid choices and mistakes that haven't helped me out any, but the part that really sucks is that I've just never really had any margin for error.  No wiggle room to screw up, learn something, and then get right back to it.  That's how I feel anyway.  Sometimes I'd like to see the future or at least get a visit from myself from the future and just know that everything has worked out.

This post, I feel, has been a whole lot of nothing.  Maybe that's ok because that's what a blog is for sometimes.  I should probably put something of entertainment worth in this so I'll leave you with my opinion on this - Did you get a chance to read the Alligator today?  There was a print in the "letters to the editor" section that made me quite pissed off. I was just going to type the letter - in italics of course.
               
University Police Officer Overstepped Boundaries at Election Bash
By Perpetua Chery, 1LS
Nov. 4 should have been one of the best days of my life. However, that historic moment was tainted for me by the actions of a UF police officer. As I was walking into the Reitz Union Grand Ballroom to join my friends for the Elections Bash, a police officer grabbed me by the arm and pulled me toward her. While wagging her index finger in my face, she told me three times, “Don’t you ever push me when you walk past me.”
The first two times I apologized because, frankly, I hadn’t even realized she was there, let alone that I had touched her, but she still had a firm grip on my upper arm and was yelling at me like I was a child.
She let go, and I walked back into the room. I was completely shocked. I was humiliated and hurt, but after I thought about it, I became angry. She was supposed to serve and protect, but instead she hid behind her badge and bullied me. I tried excusing her actions and blamed it on a bad day, but in the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but think about it.
 Did she do it because I am a female? Did she do it because I am black? What if no one was around, would she have beaten me?
Then I realized no matter how far our country comes, there will still be a lot of ignorant people calling themselves Americans.

A few problems I have with this: Did SHE do it because I am a female? Did she do it because I am BLACK? What if no one was around, would she have BEATEN me?  The absurdity of these statements just astounds me.  This person played the race card for one.  One of the most unrespected tactics known.  She accused a female cop of treating her poorly (which her treatment is debateable because I'm positive she deserved it) for possibly being a female herself, and she said...what? She said that if no one was around would the cop had beaten her??! WTF.  The stupidity of it all.   I've got plenty more to say, but I'll stifle myself.  Your comments?

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Michael Crichton has died.


It was over before 11:00pm.  I could hear the "woo's" and fireworks not long after. Barack Hussein Obama is the 44th president of the United States of America.  I've already expressed my opinion on the election, so anything I'd have to say that would express disappointment  in the outcome for whatever reasons would just be futile.  

Congrats, Barack.  You've got a long way to go to live up to that savior status.  I hope that for some reason you are the change the country needed and things get better.  Your charisma, notably second-to-none, will take a side seat to action now that the election is over.

I very much enjoyed the humility from John McCain's speech.  He deserves so much respect. It's certainly not over for him.  He has been a servant for our country for more years than Obama has been alive, and he will continue to do so until his last breath I'm sure.

With that said, I very much enjoyed Obama's speech, too.  He showed so much class.  His speech gave me a great deal of ease that maybe he can be bi-partisan and break away from his title as one of the most liberal senators in congress.  I sure do hope.  I'd like to see an efficient government - one that restores our nation to the unrivaled best on the Earth. 

So, I voted. I took part in the democratic process.  I enjoyed a free donut from Krispy Kreme. And it was painful to watch the map of the United States turn blue I must say. But for the next four years at least, Obama will be my president. Our president. So I will hang onto every word of his addresses.  I will admire his position.  I will respect him and all of the honor that he represents.  Only 43 have come before him. 

It's going to be awfully hard for an African American person to ever claim that their color or descent is a barrier to their success from here on out, too.