Saturday, January 24, 2009

It's a joke, right? Please tell me that it's a joke.

I heard the rumors recently about Joaquin Phoenix ending his acting career, and I thought "Hmm...that's odd." Then I heard that Joaquin Phoenix is quitting acting to persue a rap career, and I pinched myself a few times very hard. I let out a blood-curdling scream that was movie worthy. I thought that I was in fact having a nightmare, but as it turns out I was not. However, after having watched the following film, the theory on slipping into an alternate universe is still up for discussion. 

Without further adu, I present to you: Joaquin Phoenix with his uni-bomber inspired beard and casual country club outfit in a performance that can only be described as "If Kate Beckinsale went down on Rosie O'Donnell and then afterwards threw up on one of Rosie's adopted children - and then that adopted child started to rap. And oh yeah - Casey Affleck filmed the entire thing." 

Please, Joaquin, tell me that this is just a warm-up for April 1st. Say it ain't so. I was actually looking forward to seeing your latest movie, Two Lovers. 

This brings back bad memories such as this: A Canadian rapper named Snow. (Equally unacceptable is Vanilla Ice)

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