Thursday, November 20, 2008

My Cell Phone Fell Down the Garbage Disposal (It's Fine Now)

The decision is pretty much made.  The paper's aren't signed yet, but the decision is pretty much made.  I will be joining the military.  Right now I am hung up between the Army or the Air Force. For some reason I am fairly set on joining the Army.  I'm not entirely sure of the reason for my..infatuation.  Is that the right word? Infatuation? But at any rate I look at the military as my so-called "way out".  I'll have a job, no bills to speak of, no worries about where I'm going to lay my head, and to top it all off they pay for your education in full.  Some have said that it isn't worth it.  That I should put a little more thought into this.  After all, this isn't picking out a shirt for casual Friday - it's life changing.  I think that for as close to worthless as I feel I'll be making a great trade. My life for the next eight years for a future.  It's true.  I may be slightly naive coming into this situation.  But the truth is that I'm going down on a sinking ship: the S.S. Chuck's Hope and Dreams.  Through educational neglect I've lost my grants and ergo can't afford to go to school anymore.  Through sheer irresponsibility (and then help from the economy) I've been unemployed for the last seven weeks or so.  I've been without my car for going on two months now.  I'm broke.  I feel hopeless. These are all good reasons to join the military. Not to mention the fact that I'd be proud and humbled to serve this great nation for all that she has given me.

I'm looking into psychological operations specialist - "Psych Ops," the recruiter said.  I think it aligns well with my personality and also my civilian career goals. And it's weird to say civilian. Mostly because it puts up even more of a real barrier between life and military life.  That's the scariest part.  There's a lot of sacrifice.  Like I said, I'd be property of the military for the next 8 years.  It's like a drug dealer who goes to prison and still tries to hustle.  Maybe not quite, but you get the point.  Communication or the lack thereof will be very hard for me. The majority.  I'd say 95% of my hesitation is not getting to see my "baby-boo-angel-face". I'm not quite sure what comprises the other 5%, but I just wanted to illustrate how much I'm going to miss Jessica by having to go away for awhile. The percentage may even be more than 95%, but the point is that I love her more than anything. She is my everything, and I want a future with her. With that said, I think that the military can also help me in this area as well because by giving me a better gives us a better future.

So in the next 42 days until 2009 and my signing of my life away I've got a lot of preperation. Not just physically in preperation for basic training, but mentally as well.  I want to insure that Jessica and I are strong going into this decision, so that we can be stronger on the way out. Overall, given my perception of my situation the military seems like a cure-all. 

I should probably hurry up and rent Stanley Kubrick's Full-Metal Jacket, G.I. Jane with Demi Moore, the movie Cadet Kelly with Hillary Duff, and 1994's In the Army Now with Pauly Shore to really give me the best view of what I'll be getting into. 


christine said...

why dont u call us and talk to all of us... u should talk to ur family... i know that u might not considered them family.... but they do...i dont mean to say you dont but just from an outsider looking in you dont keep in much contact with them... n we have tried.. we have invited you to stay with us.. or to hang out.. well i'm not tryin to make u feel like a peice or bad.. i just want u to know that we are all here for you and you can call at anytime... if u want to talk to people bout military life corrin went dwayne went carl went i had family that hsa gone and lots of friends... just call us if u wanna talk...

Elaine said...

well at least you have an excuse to be belligerently conservative now.